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Dan LaBatard
Sunday, May 12, 1996

Does Christian Peter belong in the NFL?
A perfect teammate for Phillips
It isn't an easy thing, defending the rights of idiot cavemen like Christian Peter. But he deserves to wear a uniform number if he isn't wearing a prison number. He should be picked up by some NFL team, as long as American sports remain so forgiving and hypocritical:

Fans spew venom, but it's Lindros who strikes
The opera man in the tuxedo walked along the nice carpet, onto the ice, and prepared to sing an elegant national anthem, but he was promptly engulfed by more magnificent voices. The good sound started swelling around the opera man, people waving their sparklers and signs, filling sold-out Miami Arena with a noise like none it has never known, and pretty soon a chant rose up, and it was, in its own way, every bit as American as the anthem it interrupted.

Ordoñez calm in N.Y.: `The boy has no nerves'
The bad things about baseball are echoing throughout Joe Robbie Stadium, playing on the giant scoreboard as the Mets take infield. Bud Selig is making some speech in front of a cluster of microphones, but then his image is replaced. An enormous Barry Bonds appears, standing at the plate and admiring his home run like fine art, a picture of his own face painted on each of his orange wristbands.

Ordoñez's tall order: Be better than Ozzie
The bad things about baseball are echoing throughout Joe Robbie Stadium, playing on the giant scoreboard as the Mets take infield. Bud Selig is making some speech in front of a cluster of microphones, but then his image is replaced. An enormous Barry Bonds appears, standing at the plate and admiring his home run like fine art, a picture of his own face painted on each of his orange wristbands.

Dan LaBatard Portrait




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